Last Longer in Bed Blog

I suffered from premature ejaculation for years, and it took a serious toll on my confidence and on my relationships.

And then, like most guys who have struggled with their “performance” in bed, I started to dread sex… And then I started avoiding sex. And that’s when finally hit my breaking point…

I decided I really had to DO SOMETHING about it. So, I started searching online and quickly got an idea for what my options were:

Option 1: Pills

There was no way I was trying any “pills” offered online… because who knows what’s in that stuff, or what the side effects may be. As far as I could tell, there’s no proof that any of those things actually work. It all seemed like a big scam to me.

Option 2: Desensitization Sprays and Creams

The first thing I considered was one of those “desensitization” sprays… But I didn’t like the idea that it would take away the pleasure of sex. I wanted to last longer AND enjoy sex. So I started searching online for better advice about how to fix my problem…

Option 3: Natural Methods and Techniques

The next thing I did was I started reading some blogs and forums to look for free advice.

Unfortunately, most people on these websites were giving terrible advice. For example, most of them would just tell me to “think about something else” (such as baseball statistics) when I was having sex…

Or they’d talk about all the old, boring methods like “stop and start”… However, I had tried all those methods before, and they didn’t’ work for me. I wanted some advice that was actually proven to work. Tons of guys all over the world were having longer-lasting sex, and I knew I could too, if only I knew the techniques that everybody else seemed to know.

And so I kept searching…

Next, I found some websites where people were sharing advice and tips that seemed to actually work. And I read stories from tons of guys like me who used to have premature ejaculation, who started using these techniques, and who were now lasting 20, 30, and even 40 minutes in bed. (And some even an hour or longer).

The only problem was that these methods weren’t free — I had to pay for the advice. I was really skeptical about that at first, because it’s hard to believe what you read on the internet….

But at that point, I just really wanted to solve my problem… I was sick of screwing around and wasting time… More importantly, I was sick and tired of having unsatisfying sex (and I was afraid for what might happen to my relationship if I didn’t fix this problem, fast).

Plus, there were so many stories from other guys who had seen great results. And there was a money-back guarantee, so I figured I had to give it a chance. What did I have to lose? So, I sort of took a “leap of faith” and decided to try one of these methods.

Well, let me tell you… that decision to “just try it” was the best decision I ever made for my sex life (and my relationship).

I actually ended up trying out a few of these different methods, and here’s what happened…

“The Ejaculation Trainer”

The first one I tried was the The Ejaculation Trainer ebook.

When I read this, for the first time, I finally understood what was going on. This ebook explained all of the causes of premature ejaculation, including what’s happening deep down inside, biologically. This helped me to really understand why I wasn’t lasting long enough, and what I could do about it.

His method is all about 3 combined approaches — retraining your mind, and your body, and also adjusting your hormones. He really goes into detail about the research, and the science of the mind and the body – and it all made sense to me.

But more importantly, this method works!

After reading Matt’s ebook, within just a few days, I was already lasting 5-10 minutes longer.

Click here to learn more about “The Ejaculation Trainer”

The funny thing is that, once I started to make some progress, I wanted every single last “edge” I could get. And I was hungry for more, so I started searching around again, to see what I could find…

“Prejaculation”

The next one I tried was the Prejaculation ebook. This method is good too, but it takes a different approach.

Unlike the Ejaculation Trainer, “Prejaculation” didn’t focus as much on the “science” of premature ejaculation. I guess they figure some guys don’t care WHY it works – they just want to know WHAT TO DO…. And that makes sense.

Prejaculation gives you lots of techniques to last longer– including specific positions and combinations of moves to use in the bedroom. It really gives you a concrete “gameplan” – and I found that to be really helpful. It’s also written in a fun-to-read, entertaining style. If you have a sense of humor, you’ll enjoy it.

Plus, what I really liked about it was that it gave you a specific calendar of “exercises” you could do (over the course of several weeks) to “train” your body to last longer. If you want to learn more about “Kegel” exercises or “PC Muscle” exercises, Prejaculation is definitely the best resource for that stuff.

In addition, it gave me some advice for foods I could eat to last longer, which I thought was cool. Who knew that a certain flavor of ice cream could help you last longer in bed? Good news for me, since I’m an ice cream lover!

Click here to learn more about “Prejaculation”

Well, by this point, I was lasting long enough to satisfy my partner most of the time. But I still wanted more tips and so I kept looking…

“The Ultimate System for Lasting Longer”

And the last method I tested was “The Ultimate System for Lasting Longer in Bed” training program.

Like the other two, it includes a 100+ page ebook. But this one is a bit different because, in addition to the ebook, it also includes several hours of audio training. I found the audio training to be a nice addition, because I could listen while I was driving in my car or I could listen to it on my MP3 player while walking around (or working out).

Basically, the “Ultimate System” is more in-depth than the other two methods. It includes a step-by-step ebook for lasting longer in bed – but then the audio training goes beyond premature ejaculation. If you choose this program, you’ll also get advice and tips on how to how to overcome performance anxiety, give women orgasms, improve your relationship.

I thought the extra training material in the “Ultimate System” was really helpful because, after all, the reason I wanted to fix my PE was so that I could give women orgasms and improve my relationship.

The downside to this program is that it’s more expensive than the other two. But if you want the most in-depth, complete training to fix your premature ejaculation naturally, I would recommend this program.

Click here to learn more about the “Ultimate System”

The Bottom Line

The Ejaculation Trainer. A great starting point. Good overview of what premature ejaculation is, and how to overcome it naturally. Lots of interesting scientific explanations, backed up by research.

Prejaculation. Down-to-earth and fun to read. Great option for guys who want to learn more about Kegel Exercises (so you can gain control over your “PC muscle” – which controls ejaculation).

The Ultimate System. This is the most in-depth training program. So if you don’t mind “investing” a little bit more to improve your sex life (a great investment, if you ask me!), then this may be the best option for you.

And here’s my final piece of advice to you: Take action and DO SOMETHING about it. Don’t waste the best years of your life. You owe it to yourself (and to your partner) to give (at least) ONE of these methods a try.

Best of luck! And feel free to leave comments if you have any questions.

P.S. On my blog, I regularly review products you can use to last longer in bed. Whenever I review something it’s because I’ve tried it first myself, and in some instances, if you purchase through my recommendation link, I will receive a commission. But that’s not the only reason I’m recommending them, and I don’t recommend just anything. People contact me all the time asking me to review their products, and I say “no” in most cases. The reason I’m recommending these 3 methods is because I’ve tried them, and they worked for me, and so I think you should try them too, if you want to last longer in bed.

Here’s a question I received from one of my subscribers the other day:

“what does training up your PC muscle actually do? it doesn’t seem to make a difference for me other than being able to shoot further”

To answer this question, I first need to clarify the whole point of PC muscle exercises.

The point is NOT to just get a rock hard PC muscle. That alone won’t help you last longer in bed. (This is a common misunderstanding too many guys have).

The common mistake a lot of guys make is that they do 100 Kegel exercises every day, expecting that this will magically help them last longer.

However, here’s what most guys don’t understand (and what most “gurus” won’t tell you…)

MOST GUYS ARE DOING IT WRONG!

The whole point of PC muscle exercises is to gain CONTROL over the PC muscle (which regulates ejaculation). Your goal isn’t to get a strong PC muscle, but to learn how to RELAX your PC muscle when you’re having sex.

Let me say that again… Your goal is to RELAX your PC muscle.

If your PC muscle is relaxed during sex, you will last longer in bed.

Here’s where most guys get this wrong: they flex their PC muscle while having sex. This can actually TRIGGER ejaculation (since PC muscle contractions are what actually force semen out of your penis during sex).

The whole purpose of PC exercises is to get used to the sensation of your PC muscle being clenched and relaxed, so that you can notice when it’s clenching and when it’s relaxed… And keep it as relaxed as possible during sex.

A good way to sharpen your PC muscle skills is by practice keeping your PC muscle relaxed while you’re masturbating.

If you want to last longer in bed, you need to retrain your body and your MIND.

As you probably know, a lot of guys finish too quickly in bed because of performance anxiety.

If you’ve ever ejaculated too quickly, you probably know what I’m talking about… You start to have those doubts, those negative thoughts that start creeping into your mind.

“Am I going to last long enough?”
“Oh no, I hope I don’t finish too quickly…”
Etc

There are several “tricks” you can use to overcome this performance anxiety.

1. Visualization – picture yourself lasting longer in bed. What would it feel like to have sex for as long as you want? What would it look like? What would it feel like?

2. Zoom out – Take a longer-term perspective on your sex life. Realize that it’s not really a big deal if you finish too quickly once. There’s always a second time. As soon as you start to realize it’s not the end of the world, you’ll start to calm down and suddenly your performance anxiety won’t be as crippling.

3. Just talk about it. As simple as it may sound, the simple act of talking to your partner about premature ejaculation will help calm you down. Opening up about the issue is one of the best ways to conquer the crippling anxiety too many men face when it comes to lasting long enough in bed.

If you want to last longer in bed, then you really need to delay the “point of no return”…

What’s the point of no return?

This is the point where you can’t hold back any longer, and you can feel yourself about to ejaculate. Things are feeling really, really good and you just can’t hold back any longer. This is a natural phase during sex, that happens every time.

When you have sex, you actually go through 4 different stages:

1. Arousal
2. Plateau
3. Orgasm
4. Resolution

And so the whole key to lasting longer in bed is to expand this “Plateau” phase (that’s the phase when you’re having sex, BEFORE you hit the point of no return).

So… what’s the best way to hold off this “point of no return”?

Here’s the answer: You need to control your arousal.

And the best way to control your arousal is by focusing on deep breathing.

While you’re having sex, focus on taking deep breaths (the type of breathing where your belly expands). Breathe in for 3-4 seconds and out for 4-5 seconds.

If you do this while you’re having sex, you’ll stay calm, focused, and aware — and you’ll prevent your body from getting all tense.

This will help you stay on the “Plateau” stage, and it’ll help hold off the “point of no return” — and you’ll have sex longer before you hit the “Orgasm” phase.

The other day, somebody asked me:

“What’s your #1 tip to increase your endurance every time?”

This is a tough question, to be honest, because different tips work for different guys. Some tips will work well for some guys, and other tips work better for other guys.

There are a lot of “short-term” tricks you can use, like wearing a condom, or using extra lubrication, or masturbating an hour before you have sex… Those can all help.

But my real answer to this question is: proper practice.

If you want to last longer in bed EVERY time, then you actually have to train yourself. You have to change your bad habits and learn how to control your arousal.

So, if you want to improve your endurance without making embarrassing mistakes in the bedroom, the best way to improve is by practice. And the best way to practice is by using masturbation as your training tool.

Here’s what that means: if you want to last at least 20 minutes in bed, then you need to reserve at least 20 minutes for your masturbation practice.

If you’re currently lasting 3 minutes in bed, and you take the time to “train” yourself, you’ll start lasting much longer in bed.

Here’s a question I just got asked the other day:

“Will lasting longer in bed give women orgasms?”

The answer is MAYBE.

Let me explain…

Lasting longer in bed will certainly give you a better shot at giving a woman an orgasm. Most guys only last about 5 minutes on average, but it takes most women 5-15 minutes of sex to achieve an orgasm.  So lasting longer in bed will certainly help you bridge that gap.

It’ll definitely HELP you give women orgasms.

But here’s the catch… SOME women can’t achieve an orgasm from sex.

And actually, a lot of women can’t.

But that’s OK!  You can still give them orgasms — you just have to do it a little differently. You have to focus on the clitoris.  You can do this during sex, so that she has a better chance of orgasming during sex.  A good position to achieve this is doggystyle.

Hope that helps!

Hey – if you liked that tip, and you want to learn more about this type of stuff, you’ll love my Step-By-Step Guide to Lasting Longer in Bed.

Here’s a big mistake guys make when trying to last longer in bed…

They think about something else. (In other words, they take their minds OFF sex… they distract themselves).

This is very common advice that guys give each other all the time. But it’s NOT good advice.

Here’s why:

1. It takes your mind away from sex.

In other words, it reduces some of the pleasure of sex. Why would you want to do that?    That’s not the kind of sex I want to have.  I don’t want to be thinking about baseball statistics or something else when I should really just be enjoying myself.

2. If you really want to last longer AND enjoy sex, then you need to do the EXACT OPPOSITE. Rather than trying to distract yourself, you want to be paying MORE attention to your body, rather than trying to tune it out.  You want to be clear and aware of everything that’s happening, so your arousal doesn’t “sneak up” on you.

To learn more about arousal control, watch this video.